Something I thought I would never do…

I caved. I bought my son Crocs. I said I would not do it. But after sitting 15 minutes waiting for him to get his socks on, I bit the bullet. The kid is 6 and still does not have the ability to tie his own shoes. His fingers are too chubby. No joke. It is really hard for him to grasp the idea of grabbing 2 loops and knotting them. So now we are the proud owners of a pair of navy crocs. That I can fit my foot into!

This morning at the lovely hour of 3am, I woke to the sound of raccoons in my front yard. I feed the birds, so there is usually a raccoon or 2 feeding on the leftovers (after they have torn apart my garbage). So this morning there are 4 of them, one a big fat guy that was the size of a medium dog. A well-fed medium dog. We have a ducks nest with eggs in the center of our court, or at least, we had one. These guys thought that some eggs would taste ggod with their sunflower seeds and corn, and proceeded to eat all 11 eggs. I even ran out and tried to scare them away. (That must have been a sight!) No luck, they just went right back and cleared out her nest. I have no idea what happened to the momma duck. Her hubby was here this morning looking for her. I actually had tears in my eyes when I had to tell the kids. They were so looking forward to the ducklings hatching. So was I. Nature sometimes sucks the big one. Sleep was very hard to come by after that. My eye bags have bags.

The one remaining male beta fish we had also decided it was a good time to kick the bucket too. I knew it was coming, but it did not make a rough morning any easier. We had him for over 2 years, so I should be happy, but again, nature sucks.

Then, I had to register my baby for kindergarten today. It seems it was only yesterday that I got the wonderful news I was pregnant with her. Now she will be in school everyday in a few short months. UGH!

Things are better..

Well today is cooler, but not raining, so that helps. Both kids are outside at a neighbors house, so I get a few moments by myself to finally post. So what is new-

I have been working out at least 3 times a week. I don’t know what stopped me before, but I finally got off my butt and went. I feel sooo much better. My legs have lost some of their flab, and I think I will live to see bathing suit season.

It is finally NOT snowing anymore. Hopefully I am not jinxing myself, but the winter coats are in the closet stored until next year. And because of the above, I feel better about summer coming. The only thing that will suck, is my workout time will be screwed up because the kids will be home. I will need to work that out somehow…

My sister started seeing a therapist. We had a rotton childhood, and I am I so happy she is finally going to help with that and the problems with her husband. Now she has to get her husband to go too. Alcohol is a very big factor in their household, and he drinks alot. He is 48 and is worried that his drinking buddies won’t be his friend if he stops drinking. These are the same guys that got wasted at her youngest daughters 1st communion. They act as if they are still frat boys. But hopefully he will go see someone and help their family. I really worry about my nieces…….

My husbands job is still going well. With this economy, it is always scary. But, knock on wood, **knock knock** all is well. I HATE worrying about money. I had enough of that in my younger days, and I hate being poor. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, was never broke!

That is it for now, hopefully I will get back into posting here.

Spring Break=Boring!

Ok so here it is Spring Break, and my husband is out of town the ENTIRE week. The whole thing. Thanks hun! So he left at 5:15 this morning, but I did sleep in until almost 8, which is crazy late for me. I truly can’t remember the last time I slept past 7.  But on the downside, the kids also slept late, meaning we missed gymnastics.

Then, to make my morning even brighter, my dog pooped and peed all over the dining room carpeting. The same room I am to host Easter dinner in, in a few weeks. Mmmmm, your ham smells like, like, umm dog piss? I guess Stanley Steemer will be paying a visit to my house very soon. Can I get the basement cleaned up in time for them to do that too? Doubt it, but maybe that will be my goal this week. Don’t you envy me? With goals like that, I would totally envy me!

This weekend my son got a bigger bike. I just can’t believe how fast he is growing. This is already his 3rd bike. My daughter has had the same one for 3 years now, and still has some room to grow.

I wonder at times why I even bother to write in here. My life is a boring drip from one week to the next. So if you were reading this-WAKE UP! it’s over now!

6 years ago today

6 years ago today (the 29th) we brought our little boy home. After 10 years of marriage, 6 years of trying to conceive, and 4 failed adoptions, we finally were parents! It seems like only yesterday.

He was born on 01/02/03, 7lbs 14oz 22 inches long. The most beautiful coneheaded baby I ever saw. After being stuck in his birthmothers birth canal for 12 hours, he was born by C-Section. I was lucky enough to be in the operating room. I did not think I would be, but the BMs mom let me go instead of her. We did not know if the baby was boy or girl, but I was praying for a boy, since the statistics on BMs giving up girls vs boys is not good.  (3 of our previous failed were girls). While I was elated, I was also very wary of becoming attached. Plus the fact I had only 3 hours of sleep in 48hours. (it was a 5 hour drive in January in WI-not good driving weather) We finally went to the hotel at about 1 am. We saw him again in the morning, then drove back home, to go back to work.

We drove up to visit him at the Foster Mothers home 3 times during the month of January. (This is the law in WI) Finally the social worker called with a court date, for the birth parents to give up their parental rights. So, on Jan 27th, I said goodby to all my co-workers, and went to go get him. My husband, myself and my Mother in law drove up in the worst weather possible. We decided that God was just testing us before the baby. My husband drove a semi truck for years, and he said it was some of the worst driving he had ever done. As soon as we got into town, we all had a  very needed drink. Then it was off to a photographer, as the birth mothers mom wanted formal pictures of the baby. Weird, but we had no say. She could get the baby anytime, which she did. The foster mother would make sure he was not fed, and in need of a nap, just to let the BM know how much it takes to have a baby. (I loved her for this) We spent a few hours taking some awful pictures. But at least I have photos to show my son if he asks. We have an open adoption, but have really not stayed that close to the BM. Plus we live in IL now, and she is about 8 hours away.

The next morning, court was to start at 9am. Of course it was delayed. I was beside myself, but the foster mother somehow knew that it was going to go through. Finally at 1pm, the social worker called and said all paperwork was signed off, and he was ours! We had to wait for the birth mother and her family to come back to say their goodbyes. We actually got to see the birth father too, which was good, since he was not in the picture anymore.

When we finally got into the car to head home, I called my Dad. As soon as I told him we were headed home, he started crying (my Dad that is). I am tearing up just typing this, remembering. My sister, of course being the unfeeling gal that she is, just said, “Oh”. Later she apologized, blaming her daughter for acting up during the phone call.

We got home after 11pm, and the baby had slept the whole way home. I feared he would be up all night, but he slept great. To show you how I feared it would fall through, I never even bought diapers. I was lucky that my MIL had brought a small trial pack, or we would have been in trouble. So 2 days after quiting work, I was suddenly a stay at home mom. The only job I have ever really wanted.

Happy adoption day Buzz, I love you more than you will ever know!

I suck

Day 6 of January and I have only worked out twice. Yesterday, I had frozen cookie dough for lunch. Great huh?  Today I got myself back on track by eating better, but I did not work out. I had a mini goal for a night downtown with my husband, but I really will have to step it up since it is only 10 days away. Think I can lose 10lbs by then?

And of course I am bombarded with weight loss shows. And I watch them all and feel guilty for sitting on my butt not doing anything. Tonight my favorite show, Biggest Loser starts again. I will have to really pay attention to Bob & Jillian to kick my ass in gear. I need to do this for my son too, because bad Mom that I am, gave him brownies for dessert and he ate 3! He is doing Tae Kwon Do, so at least he is active, but he eats like crap and it is my fault. I went to the grocery store today and bought all good stuff for him, which he will eat. I am hoping he will lose about 7lbs.

In other news, my sister and her husband are still having problems. I hope they go to counseling, because my sister will have a nervous breakdown if not. It looks like she did have an affair, with her husbands, cousins husband, This of course has caused it’s own problems, on top of their previous problems. I feel so bad whenever I talk to her, because she ends up crying. I wish she would just get it all out with me once and for all. I really worry about my neices too. The oldest, that I have written about, has really been affected by all this. She is a freshman in High School, and is very very moody. Much more than an average teen.

Ok, well I am off to cook a good dinner for my kids, since my hunny is out of town for a WEEK! Yikes.

2009

Ok here it is, 2009 already and I really need to set myself some goals/resolutions for the year. This list ma be added to, but hopefully no deletions!

1. Lose at least 10lbs by April. I will turn 41  and I failed last year to get in shape by 40-so since I am older and wiser, this year it WILL happen. I would love to lose more, but I need to be realistic. Year end gols would be 25lbs, but I have a tendency to gain muscle, so just getting close would be great. And, I have been paying $100 a month for the health club and have NEVER, I repeat, NEVER, used it. $100 x 12-lots of money that could have gone elsewhere.

2. Eat better. This goes hand in hand with the above, but it needs to be done. It will help everyone. My son weighs 73lbs and he is 6. Not good. I would like to see him below 70lbs by April. He is doing Tae Kwon Do, so this is doable.

3. Exersice DAILY! I plan to start P90 tapes today. They say if you do something or 21 days straight, it becaomes habit. I will either prove this wrong or right on Jan 21st!

4. Keep the house cleaner and clutter free. I have a cleaning lady come in and it takes me hal a day to clean up so she can clean. That is stupid and I just need to straighten daily and watch or clutter areas. Or get rid of our kitchen counters-probably easier!!

5. Be credit card debt free by the end of the year. This should be doable. I just need to not add anymore CC debt and pay with cash or debit card whenever possible and if not, pay balance by the next month.

6. Spend more time with my kids. There are days when I feel I have them stay away from me, and play on their own. They are growing too fast and I need to enjoy this time with them. There will be no more babies in this house, so I need to cherish this time with them.

Ok that is it so far. More may be added as the month goes by. I hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Year!

Getting back in shape at 40

Getting started doing any exercise is hard at any age, but it really gets tough at 40. I started a program this morning, that lasts 90 days. I am really excited about it now, and hope I keep it up. It will be really nice to start a new year feeling great and looking great. Not that I look horrible now, but I really hate the flab I have at my waist now. I am also hoping the upped dosage of my thryoid meds will help with the unexplained weight gain. I go get re-tested in Dec, so by then it will be the end of 2 months on this program.

Other than this, there is really nothing exciting is going on with my life. Kids are doing good at school, husband is starting to travel again and I am doing well. Good I guess!

Getting in the groove

Well the first month of school is over and we are finally getting to the point of no tears. It is so nice to have my daughter go right into school and not have her tear my heart out with her. Last year she cried every single time I dropped her off, even though she had been there for months! This year she has a better main teacher, that her brother had his first year. It has made such a difference.

Son is finally liking the bus ride. After the ear infection (did I write about this?) cleared, he can handle the noise level. Plus his teacher made sure he rides up front, not in the back with all the big kids. I also am happy he is making some new friends besides our neighbor boy-who has turned into a know-it-all brat.  I really can’t wait to move to get away from them! sounds horrible, but it is a very negative family. This is the family that is always complaining about money, but drives 100+ miles to go camping pulling a huge camper. Drives me nuts.

I need to get myself into a routine while both kids are at school. Today I plan to super clean the house. Then list a bunch of stuff on Craigslist. My housekeeping as really slacked lately, and it is driving me nuts. Our house is a disaster area, but not after 2pm today! Come on over and check it out!

Kindergarten here we come!

So my son started kindergarten yesterday. The morning went off without a hitch for him, me, I was very very anxious. Plus it was pouring rain. Not a fun day to stand at the bus stop. But we waited in the car till it was time, then stood under the umbrella for a bus that was 25 minutes late. The entire class is from our subdivision, so the poor teacher had no students in her class till about 10 minutes after it was supposed to start. Everyone says it is normal for the first week, but it is not good for an OCD person like me. The little card I got in the mail said 11:08-not 11:30. Today he was only 15 minutes late.

My neighbor did not help my mood. Or really just her husband, because he told me that she was driving the kids to school. I was pretty pissed, since my son is friends with her kids, and being the first day on the bus an all, I thought they should get used to the routine. Luckily the husband was wrong, and they all got on the bus just fine. But my mood was already shot. Could have had something to do with the nerves and not being able to fall back asleep at 4 am.

Coming home was a bit difficult. As the bus pulled up (pouring rain STILL!) all the kids get off, neighbor boy gets off, no son. He finally gets off the bus and I can tell he is upset. I asked what is wrong, and he says everyone was yelling at him. I ask him why were they yelling at him, but he finally just said they were just all yelling and the noise bothered him. I joked that he will have to get an ipod, and he piped right up, “We can go to Best Buy!” Hopefully today will be better.

I talked to my sister this morning and I was happy to hear that her husband as toned down his drinking. He used to buy a case of beer every other day-A CASE! We have not gone through a case of beer in about 5 years in this house. The rule for him is he can’t drink unless an adult is with him. Sounds logical, but he used to get wasted while being in charge of my neices. Now they are older, but the youngest (8) does not need to see this happening-daily. Hopefully everything will work out for the better, I really don’t want my sister to be anymore stressed than she already is.

Ever the complainer

My neighbor friend that I used to car pool with and walk most nights with is forever complaining about their lack of money. Her and her husband bought some property in Florida that they are now foreclosing on. I just listen, mainly because she is an over-talker, you know the kind that talk right over whatever you are saying? Thats her. But what I would love to interrupt her to say is to stop having parties at your house, stop driving all the way up to WI to go camping in your big gas guzzler towing a big ass camper! Now I have to listen to her crab almost every night and nytime we are together. Now she has had at least 4 parties this summer, and I don’t care how much you ask your guests to help out, you still spend alot of money. And she has gone camping at least 4 times this year and still have a few trips planned. Then she comes back and bitches to me how they have no money. HELLO McFly!!

Unfortunatly, my sister does this too. Her and her husband must spend a fortune on food and booze, then her husband yells at her for spending too much money. But it is all his friends that drink so much. Now this is a 47 year old man, not a frat boy. But he and his equally loser friends get wasted every chance they get.  I dread going to any party at her house. Her youngest daughters Godfather got so drunk at her 1st communion, that he fell through their screen door. It has so turned me off drinking even a glass of wine myself.

Since I have not walked with the neighbor for about a week now, I am not looking forward to the next one. Luckily I can concentrate on walking and bite my tongue as to not say anything to her. I will report back to how it went….