Thankful

I decided to write a post on what I am thankful for, instead of bitching. Awhile back, while watching either Oprah or Home Makeover, I realized if someone asked me what I needed or wanted for myself, the answer would be NOTHING. Years back the answer would have been a baby, but sinced I have been twice blessed, that is no longer a need or want. (I still have an occasional twinge about another baby, but that is another story)

So, what I am thankful for is:

My loving Husband. He is the love of my life, and even though we have or differences, there are more things we have in common than different. I can’t imagine going through all we did, with the infertility, adoption losses, adoption success and finally pregnancy with anyone else. He is my rock!

My children. Although they do drive me nuts some days, they are all that I prayed for, for so many years. Seeing them grow and change daily is the best gift I have ever been given.

My house. Although it is not our dream home, it is perfect for right now. There are room for improvements, but we can do them and not wipe out our savings or run ourselves into debt. Plus it is in a cul-de-sac which I love because it is safe for my kids!

My family. Although my MIL drives me nuts some (most) days, my in-laws and my family are always there for me.

I am also glad we are in good financial shape. I know so many people that are having money trouble right now, and I am thankful we have a roof over our heads that is not affected by rising interest rates, money in the bank, food in the pantry, nice cars to drive, extra money to give to charity…..ok I will stop here.

Problems

SO this morning I was about to do a load of laundry, and the phone rings. It is a cellular number I don’t recognize. When I answer, it is my sister. She starts off saying, “This is my new cell number.” I ask why a new number? She says its a long story. Ugh! Not what I wanted to hear. She told me she is being accused of having an affair with a very close family friend. Now the wife called my sister and was yelling at her, then called my sisters husband. He (BIL) texted my sister and just wrote, “The cat is out of the bag” My poor sister. Though she never came out and said it was false, I really did not want to know the answer. I love her and would do anything to help her, I don’t know what to do about this one. Luckily I had sent her some money, so she had cash to get a new phone, and I told her I was there for her if she needed anything. Ugh is about all I have to say. It is a very sticky situation that they will have to work ot between themselves.

My little liar

So yesterday morning I went upstairs to get something from my bedroom. I walked past our hall bathroom that has our 3 Beta fish tanks. (Small tanks on the counter) I looked on the floor, and was shocked to see one of the fish lying there. I quickly scooped it up and threw it in the nearest tank. Of course it was the wrong tank and the fish occupying that tank was not too pleased. So to add more trauma to the poor fishes day, I had to get the net and scoop her up from the males tank back to her own. I have no idea how long poor Fire was out of water, but she seems none the worse for wear.

Now when I asked both kids how the fish got out, daughter said with a very straight face, It wasn’t me. Son started coming up with scenarios like, “I slammed my door and she got scared and jumped out” and “I touched the bamboo and she jumped out”. After many times asking what happened, I thought for sure it was the boy. He just started crying and making up stories, so I thought it was him. When I said we would not be going to the pool, because no one would tell the truth. Suddenly, daughter said, “I did it”. How in the world does a 4 year old learn to lie so early? And so good?

Then I felt horrible because I was putting the blame on the boy. I said I was sorry to him, and explained to him to just tell the truth and we would not have to go through all that again.

I don’t know if my cleaning lady will work out. She came on Monday at about 3:30 and was still there at 7pm. Husband was all mad, but realized that it would take awhile since it was her first time here, and my house is far from spotless. I had to tell her not to clean the kitchen and go home. She came back yesterday and was here from 3:15 to 5:30. She only charged us $70. My husband gave her $100. He at frst was saying not to use her again, but then I think he realized how hard she worked. I think if she could come in the morning it would be ok, but I can’t have her here when it is dinner time, and I am stuck in the basement or outside waiting. I just read what I wrote, and realized I sound like a stuck up bitch. Please please know that I am far from one. I am very uncomfortable with fancy things. I like having money in the bank and bills paid on time, and a nice car and clothes, but it is hard when my sister is struggling working 2 jobs it is hard to enjoy. It gave me a stomach ache when she saw our new truck, and yesterday, while listening to her talk about getting a new, higher paying job, I hoped she would not hear the vacuum going in the background. That is hard to handle, Uh yeah thats my cleaning lady, while I can stay at home with my 2 kids, you work 2& 1/2 jobs and struggle daily with money issues. We have 2 cars under 2 years old and she has 2 older than 6 years. (Of course we have the payments to go along with those cars) Some of her troubles are her own fault. Like the fact she just keeps buying clothes for her girls, without checking what they already have. Their drawers are bursting with shirts worn once or never. I call her house the house of excess. In her shower, there are probably not 2 kinds of shampoo, but 8. If my sister would need a dress for an occasion, she would go out and get 3, without trying them on, and then return the others. Her oldest daughter, my goddaughter, just keeps getting more and more clothes, that she does not need. My sister does not say no to any of them, so they just get more. I have told her to give me their extras, to sell on Ebay, but she has not. Of course I don’t know how much I could get, since all the clothes are cheap. But any money is good.

Now we have had our share of financial trouble, but I have learned to get only what I need, or if I really want it, I wait till it is on sale. This makes husband mad, but I really don’t need much, being a SAHM. My hubby makes about triple what he made when we first moved into our house, but I think it has made me even more frugal. Now I don’t deny buying a few impulse purchases here and there, and I do like to spoil my kids and family.  When I shop with my sister I try to not take interest in any one particular item, because that said item will be my next gift for either Xmas or birthday. One year I took a leopard print t-shirt off the rack, then put it back. My sister then went back and got it for me. Her memory was not so good, because it was a totally different color and style, but it was a good try.

Ok, I have rambled on about alot of nothing, so I will go.

Mumbo Jumbo

I am so pathetic that I can’t even keep a promise to my blog that I will be back! But, of course, it would have been a very boring entry had I written anything. Not that this one will be a thriller!

I have a list of websites I come across with interesting items for sale. This one will appeal to you Becky! They have bacon flavored dental floss and bacon shaped band-aids! This year I plan to buy a bunch of these type of items for everyone for Christmas. It gets harder and harder to buy stuff for everyone for the Holidays, so I figure I will shop from these online stores and Etsy, and everyone will get something unique and original. And, as a bonus for me, everything will be sent to me, so no wandering aimlessly around the mall trying to think of gifts. I already have a few things on order to stick in the closet until December. When both kids are in school I will try and get all their gifts done before November. At least that is my goal-but I say that every year, so who knows!

Today I have a cleaning person coming to my house. Hopefully she will work out and we can have her come on a regular basis. I do the basics, but suck at the dusting and deep cleaning of it all. The only problem I see is the fact that she does not speak much English, but I figure if worse comes to worse, I can ask my neighbors to translate. Either that, or I need to get some Spanish lessons-more than Dora can teach me.

My shower is calling my name, so I will cut this boring entry short-

Long time, no post

I can really tell how boring my life is by this blog. This has been a very uneventful summer, for which I am glad. Really the only thing I have been doing is trying to avoid the dreaded neighbor boy I don’t like. As soon as we come out, I hear his garage door open and I fell like grabbing the kids and running back in. We did manage to avoid the kids birthday party, but did sacrifice my big blow up slide/pool to them. It was something I did not want to do, but I had lent it to the other neighbor, and how do you get out of that? Luckily it was a family party and we bribed the son to have him not want to go. Of course right now he is over playing in the slip and slide. Our slide is hanging on their fence drying. Ugh I can’t wait to move.

On another note, my dear husband bought me an Escalade for my 40th birthday/15 year anniversary present. He has been telling everyone it was a birthday present, because he turns 40 next year and he wants a new car too. The gas has not been too bad, mostly because I don’t drive anywhere. The best thing about it is the DVDs in the headrests, that the kids can work themselves. They are great in the car now, not bitching about going to the grocery store or running errands.

Well I will have to cut this entry short, because the son has his bike out now and I am anal about watching him. I will write tomorrow though-promise for my limited readership!

Turning over a new leaf

I have decided to really get better about taking care of myself. I have been 40 for just a tad over a month now, and I have done nothing to get myself in shape. I am the heaviest I have ever been, save from being pregnant, but that was 4 years ago. I just have no excuse any longer.  I need to get stronger so I can be a better Mother for my kids. My own parents never really played with us, and I don’t want my kids to remember me like that. I already worry how they will remember my husband. It seems that lately he has been such a grump when he comes home. He is in poor shape, but does nothing to help himself. Unless of course you count complaining to me.

On a good note, I tried out a Pilates class last night and really liked it. Now just to fit it in the budget, and actually be able to go to a few classes. With my husbands travel schedule and lack of babysitters, signing up will be the easy part. I also ate well yesterday, and am on track today.  I lost 2lbs, which is good, since I was stuck at the same weight for 2 weeks. Now I just need to get back on the treadmill and get rid of my muffin top!

Ex Gifts

I was reading another blog about gifts from exes. I had to post about a few of mine. My most memorable was my freshman year boyfriends gift our first Xmas together. I think I got him a gold necklace with an italian horn on it. I probably wiped out my entire savings to get it. His gift to me, that had to be opened in front of all my friends was a white acrylic sweater with a huge embroidered cat face on it. Plus some fake gold earrings & matching necklace set. Turned green the first time wearing it.

I am HORRIBLE faking enthusiasm. Just horrible. I put off wearing this horrible thing as long as I could. It was like wearing a chest plate because of the material used to stablize the stitching. I decided to be nice and wear it one day, because it was a Hockey game day, and on those days, I would wear said boyfriends jersey during school. Wouldn’t you know it? That was the day he forgot to bring the jersey to school. I was forced to wear the god-awful shirt ALL day. But at least I could deflect bullets!

Second bad gift was actually from another BFs parents. I was with this BF for at least 2 years, and was LIVING with him. When Xmas rolled around, his other sister in laws got nice gift certificates for Marshall Fields. My gift? An incredibly cheap fake gold necklace, with a little heart charm complete with fake diamond chip. I still have it. Why I have held onto this $5 trinket is beyond me. Maybe to remind myself how good I have it now, with a Hubby with good taste! When I can figure out how to post a pic-I will!

A puke story

I forgot to post about this when it actually happened. One day after my son and I picked up my daughter from preschool, (they are both in preschool-son goes MWF daughter TTH) we stopped at a resteraunt called Burnt Toast down the road from us. It is a breakfast/lunch place that is really good and kid friendly. We ordered, ate, chatted and had a pleasant time. My daughter said she had to go potty before we left so I took her in the big stall, with my son. There was one woman waiting for her son in the 2 stall bathroom. Daughter proceeds to go, and I am listeneing to the other mom ask her son if he is done. Just finishing he would reply. Now my daughter has a very sensitive stomach with smells, and I believe the boy had just taken a dump. As she is sitting on the toilet, she proceeds to throw up on her lap. On her underpants and pants. On her shoes and socks. On the floor. And at school the treat was cupcakes, with sickly sweet RED frosting. Mixed with pancakes and milk.

I start to gag. Son starts to gag. All this time more women are coming in to use the restroom. The 1st mom is still asking her son if he is finished. I am telling son not to look at his sister so he does not gag. I am breathing rapidly through my mouth as not to smell the sweet stench and add to it with my own vomit. And this is one of those bathrooms that has no paper towels, only dryers.

There was no way I could clean off her pants. Or her shoes. Or her underpants. I did clean up the floor. I am not that gross. The only thing I could do was strip her from the waist down and bring her to the car butt naked. Luckily that day she had on a long shirt that covered her heinie.

This day trumps the day she crapped in her diaper and we were at sons TaKwon Do class and I had failed to bring a spare. Took that diaper off and thought we could manage without. WRONG! She shit herself-all down the legs,up the back. All the joy of being a MOM!

SNOW?

Ummm hello? Mother Nature? Um it is April 28th today and it is fucking snowing today! I know, not enough to stick you say, but how the hell can I get my kids out of the house and riding their bikes if you let it snow?

Well turning 40 has not been very exciting. Not that I really expected anything really amazing to happen, but I certainly did not expect to be going to 3 funerals in 1 week! First a neighbor lady died, then a man I used to drive to Drs appoitments died (on my b-day no less)  then the shocker was my 47 year old Step Brother. I got the call from my Dad on Friday morning. I feel so sorry for my Step Mom, as her eldest daughter died of Breast Cancer 18 months ago. Now this. I can’t imagine burying 2 children. So my birthday week was not fun.

My husband gave me a necklace for my B-Day. It was ok, but not something I loved. I already made the mistake of keeping a watch he gave me for Xmas that I didn’t love, so I told him I was going to return the necklace. I got a beautiful diamond and pink sapphire ring in its place. My hubby laughed when I came home with it, because he was torn between the ring and the necklace. So at least we have similar tastes. I jst would not have spent $1000 on a necklace I could not wear daily. If it had been costume I would have totally kept it. So I being the cheapskate that I am, saved the dear man over $200 bucks.

How the hell did I get to be 40??

Well today is my 40th birthday. Ya know what? It is exactly like yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. Husband is not home of course, but I am fine with that. He did send me flowers, which are beautiful, but I am such a cheapskate, I hate the thought of all that money spent for something that will die in a few days. I also know that he got me some kind of jewelry, because his credit card called while he was gone, to make sure it was him using the card. I hate that he tried to get me something nice, but I will just want to return it in the end. I am at home all day getting cheeto cheese wiped on my clothes, I don’t need $1000 jewelry piece. I know that alot of women would love this, but I am the one who deals with the bills, and it just kills me to have this added to our debt.

I did talk him out of having a party for me on Sat. He plans it, but I have to clean and worry, because he is out of town. He just tells me to hire a cleaning person. He forgets that you have to clean for the cleaners, and if I do that, I might as well clean a bit extra and save the money. He thinks I am nuts. But I really did not want to have a party until we have our house looking 100%, with new carpet upstairs and the rooms all painted.

I am having a pretty lame day, but what can you expect? There were days years and years ago that I never would have believed that I would be watching my OWN kids playing in the backyard. I truly expected to be a dog mom only, treating my dogs like they were children.  (Even though they are like kids, nothing has changed!)

On a sad note, I have to go to a wake tomorrow night for a neighbor lady that practically was my stand in mother for my kindergarten year. My parents divorced when I was 5, and my mom worked, so I would go to this ladies house and wait until after lunch, then walk with another girl in my class to school. I don’t remember much about it, except having to climb a fence to get to the other kids house. I have found that all my memories start the moment my Dad was leaving our house when they divorced. My sister does not remember anything bad, and when I say something that happened, she does not recall it, even though she is 3 years older. It took about a year of therapy for me to get over how my mother treated me. I wish my sister would go too…….